If you follow me on instagram you will probably know what’s going on in my life. I was at a serious impasse, should I just continue blogging as if nothing happened with my heart or should I pour my heart out and continue from there. I’ve been sitting with this for the last couple of weeks and I haven’t been able to write anything worth publishing. So I guess pouring my heart out on my little corner of the internet might just be what I need to move forward. To be creative again. So here goes.
I’m getting a Divorce
The more I say it the more real it gets and that’s what I need, to start accepting that it’s happening. I knew it was coming but I was still in denial. Some parts of me was, anyway. When the figurative shit hit the fan I let myself cry it out. I cried and cried until I was empty and my tears had run dry. In the days following I let myself feel all the feels. Hurt, angry, sad, mostly angry tho. Questions ran through my head with what if’s. I struggle with anxiety and running things through my mind over and over is what I do. It felt like a I was in a roller coaster with no end in sight. I felt like sleeping was the answer to every question I had. Sleep, sleep and more sleep.
I’ve finally stopped sleeping, they say everything happens for the reason. Yes it wasn’t very responsible but my brother’s dog had puppies. Seven of the most adorable little mini labradors that are filled with so much love from head to the tip of their little tails and just loving and caring for these puppies for the past week is what I needed. My mind needed. I’m still not feeling one hundred percent myself but at least sleeping isn’t still the answer to all my questions.
The divorce is dragging on because it’s happening over international waters. I hope once it’s done I can feel free, free to find myself again and find happiness within myself. I am feeling better but I still feel like I’m in limbo. A little bit stuck.
I don’t really know how to end of this post ,but I really hope it leads to a new post about things I really want to be writing about. Self love, beauty, life, travel and all the yummy food.