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  • Home / Lifestyle / The Big D

    The Big D

    The Big D

    If you follow me on instagram you will probably know what’s going on in my life. I was at a serious impasse, should I just continue blogging as if nothing happened with my heart or should I pour my heart out and continue from there. I’ve been sitting with this for the last couple of weeks and I haven’t been able to write anything worth publishing. So I guess pouring my heart out on my little corner of the internet might just be what I need to move forward. To be creative again. So here goes.

    I’m getting a Divorce

    The more I say it the more real it gets and that’s what I need, to start accepting that it’s happening. I knew it was coming but I was still in denial. Some parts of me was, anyway. When the figurative shit hit the fan I let myself cry it out. I cried and cried until I was empty and my tears had run dry. In the days following I let myself feel all the feels. Hurt, angry, sad, mostly angry tho. Questions ran through my head with what if’s. I struggle with anxiety and running things through my mind over and over is what I do. It felt like a I was in a roller coaster with no end in sight. I felt like sleeping was the answer to every question I had. Sleep, sleep and more sleep.

    I’ve finally stopped sleeping, they say everything happens for the reason. Yes it wasn’t very responsible but my brother’s dog had puppies. Seven of the most adorable little mini labradors that are filled with so much love from head to the tip of their little tails and just loving and caring for these puppies for the past week is what I needed. My mind needed. I’m still not feeling one hundred percent myself but at least sleeping isn’t still the answer to all my questions.

    The divorce is dragging on because it’s happening over international waters. I hope once it’s done I can feel free, free to find myself again and find happiness within myself. I am feeling better but I still feel like I’m in limbo. A little bit stuck.

    I don’t really know how to end of this post ,but I really hope it leads to a new post about things I really want to be writing about. Self love, beauty, life, travel and all the yummy food.

    Lizna Erkelens
    Lizna Erkelens

    I’m a South African Beauty, Lifestyle & Travel blogger and I’m currently finding myself in the Garden Route. A little town called Wilderness is home. I am a very proud dog mom, learning to love my curvy body and a 30 plus blogger.

    Find me on: Web | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

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    6 Comments

    1. Avatar 28/03/2019 / 11:11

      My wonderful friend, you’re right everything does happen for a reason – there are bigger and better things headed your way, and God is just clearing a path for them.
      Sending you so so much love!

      xxxx

      • Avatar 28/03/2019 / 11:15

        Thank you so much gorgeous! I needed to hear that xx

    2. Avatar 28/03/2019 / 11:28

      I truly believe in dealing with things like this in the way we feel necessary and for you that was sleeping and that’s okay. I am so glad that you are starting to feel more like yourself. You deserve to be happy.
      Animals really have a way of bringing such joy to our lives.

      • Avatar 28/03/2019 / 15:31

        They do! And thank you for being there for me when I need an ear <3

    3. Avatar 28/03/2019 / 13:12

      I’m really truly sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Sending you lots of love and strength to get through this.